goodbye's

I'm sitting here in Korea still and my mind is constantly replaying the events of saying goodbye last night, so I figured I'd share it...since I obviously have time. lol.

Saying goodbye to all the kids (and Ayi's) was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I guess because I knew I was going to see all my friends and family again, that it wasn't really that difficult say "bye, see ya soon". But, saying goodbye, possibly forever, to the precious kids I've had the privilege to get to know recently, is excruciating for me.

I had Cheng Cheng on my lap last night when I told him I was leaving, and he gave me this silly look and shook his head no...he obviously thought I was just joking. Again, I told him that I really am leaving. I have to go back to America. He then got really serious, got down off my lap and went to ask an Ayi! The Ayi didn't know I was leaving so she was laughing that Cheng Cheng said "jei jei zuo meiguo?" (sister go to america?). I told the Ayi (in my broken Chinese) that I was indeed leaving...and I was leaving in 10 minutes. She then told broke it to Cheng Cheng for me...he got a sad look, shook his head and said "Buyao qu meiguo" (don't go to America), and then walked away from me! (omgsh! SO hard to deal with). I decided to leave him be for a few minutes and say goodbye to the other kids, in the mean time. I think it was harder for me to stop hugging them, than it was for them to quit hanging all over me! I took a few last minute pictures, got some pics with the head Ayi that has been oh, so generous! Then I went back to the room where Cheng Cheng went to hide from me, picked him up, gave him a hug and said "bye-bye". He completely ignored me -- didn't hug back or say anything. Guess he didn't really care, or think I was serious... I then picked up Wei Tao and pretty much just wanted to hug him constantly -- as always! He is SO precious!
6pm rolled around -- I was now an hour later leaving than I had planned -- but I didn't want to go!! I gave Wei Tao to the Ayi and then he started screaming! I took him back and he clung to me more than usual...he didn't even understand that I was leaving! WHY did he have to do that to me?! :( Once again, I told the Ayi I needed to go, so she took Wei Tao from me...he started screaming again...so she took him in the other room. :(
All the kids were at the door as I left with my luggage...except Cheng Cheng. They were all smiling and waving goodbye. I wanted to cry, but some how managed to hold it together, say goodbye and actually leave........ I barely got down one (out of 12) flights of stairs and I hear this little voice hollering, "Jei jei!", at the top of the stairs. Peering down at me through the bars was Cheng Cheng! I dropped my luggage on the platform and ran back up to say goodbye. He asked "ni zou meiguo?" (you go america?)...I said yes, he said okay. I picked him up and he gave me a big hug and kiss and then said "bye bye"..... and I was still supposed to leave after that?!! :'(
I said goodbye and then left, for good...and then I lost it! :(

...I really hope they're all adopted (soon!) and are super happy with their new families! I know they go through a lot of volunteers there, so I'm sure they're used to saying goodbye...but I'M NOT! ...this is gonna be a long flight home.